Unconditional Love

I watched a documentary last night entitled "Rehab" and it has left me a bit shaken ever since. The documentary basically chronicles five young adults as they try to overcome their drug addictions and tells their harrowing stories. Out of the five young people only one of them was still clean two years following the stint she had a drug rehab camp where the cameras followed her. One of the girls was no longer using "hard" drugs two years later, but still drank in large quantities and smoked pot. The other three had been in and out of other rehabs, detox centers and jail.

Sure we've all seen these stories before - we've been shown the perils of drug addiction and realize that these people are simply killing themselves slowly with their continual drug use. We see their seemingly hopeless stories, but what I liked about this documentary was the time the filmmaker spent with their families. Suddenly I realized that these weren't just drug addicts - people selling their bodies, souls, and dignity for "one more hit" - they are someone's child, someone's hope and future.

Your initial assumption might be that they had bad a bad childhood, they were abused, neglected or were even molested, but what is harrowing to me is that that is not the case. These kids have parents who love them, who raised them giving them the world on a platter and yet it wasn't enough. As a young mother this scares me to death. What can I do to prevent my son from becoming like these young adults? Can I love him enough, educate him enough on the perils of drug use, give him enough support to prevent him from going down this path of self destruction?

I think these are questions that the parents of the kids featured in the film asked themselves and after their children were lead astray they are left with one remaining question - what did I do wrong? When you give your child the world can you prevent them from casting it all aside to wreckless abandon? I don't think this is a question any parent will ever be able to answer, but I can promise you one thing - I will remember this documentary and I will discuss it with my children when they are of age to talk openly about drug use and abuse. And God forbid that that is not enough I will do what any parent would - I will love my children unconditionally.

Conner is growing up as fast as the grass!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above." James 1:17

Motherhood is Madness

Maybe it's not exactly madness in motherhood - but madness from trying to be a mother and everything else. There are so many roles and shoes that mother's have to fill these days it can be maddening trying to juggle them all. The one thing I know I'm good at is being a mother to my wonderful 7 month old son, Conner and a stepmother to my nearly 7 year old stepson, Jacob. But after that it all gets a bit crazy. How do you juggle your children, husband, pets, work, family and friends?! It's a balance that I work on everyday and I have a feeling I will be struggling to keep it all together indefinitely.

This all begs the question - why must women juggle so much? Okay, I know we wanted liberation - equality to men and we have it. But I don't see any equality when women are working, raising kids and taking care of the house and their husbands are still simply focused on work. Don't get me wrong - my husband is great - he cooks dinner 9 out of 10 nights on top of working full time and finishing up his bachelor's degree full time. We've got a lot going on and share the responsibilities pretty well. But what about those women out there doing it all? Why is it that when I drop my son off at day care in the morning and pick him up at night I rarely see a father sharing in the carpooling? Why do these women work all day to simply go home and work all night? It is maddening - modern mother's have our work cut out for us!

My mom stayed home with my sister and I for years and then slowly went back to work. I don't envy the responsibilities she had staying home with us and managing the household - but let me tell you, when she did go back to work those duties continued and she just added more to her plate. I just wonder how we've gotten ourselves into this mess. I love my son and I wouldn't change my life for the world, but a part of me wishes that we could go back to simpler times.

Welcome to the World Live Web

I attended a conference the other day discussing the trends of Generations X and Y – and going into it I really thought I was up to date. This was, of course, before I found out what blogging was and how it has gone mainstream. Sure I had seen blogs before, I just didn’t take the time to really ingest what they were and what they were doing to the world of communication. Let me tell you my eyes are now open. I figured the best way to enter the blogosphere would be to jump in headfirst – so here I am with my own blog.

I take my pride in being a mother – it is who I am, but not all that I am. I began my career in broadcast journalism and moved on to public relations after a couple of years (I was starving as a starting out TV reporter/anchor). I met my husband while I was working for a CBS affiliate and he moved back to Colorado with me where he is now working full time and completing his degree in civil engineering. We had our hands and hearts full between work, school, our cocker spaniel, our cat, and summer breaks and school year holidays with my stepson Jacob. Then God gave us a gift I at first wasn’t sure we were prepared for, our wonderful son Conner. He was born in September of 2004 and has added an indescribable amount of joy to our lives.

I am still a professional on top of being a new mother. After taking a twelve week maternity leave I returned to my job, which I simply adore, and am now doing the balancing act that working mothers around the world so cautiously handle everyday. I am overjoyed in life – I am blessed and fortunate for all that I have. While I define myself as a mother I don’t want to forget the other aspects of my life that identify me as a person. So here I am – taking a new look at life and the many things that make up my identity as a Sassy Mama.